Asking for Help
I don’t follow the news much unless celebrities are involved in some sort of scandal, politicians are lying to everyone, or certain sporting events are going on. I definitely have followed Meghan and Harry since they announced their engagement several years back. I eagerly watched their wedding, as I did with Kate and William. The obsession with British Royalty is interesting; they are more than celebrities. They are actual royals. Something about them is just absolutely astounding (for no good reason), and I find myself incredibly intrigued with their lives. I happily watched a documentary about Diana on one of my nights Ian gave me away from the kids.
Last Sunday, an interview with Meghan and Harry with Oprah aired on CBS. I couldn’t wait to watch it, as I have been following the news since Meghan and Harry moved back to the United States and stepped down from their senior royal duties. I don’t understand all of the nuances and rules that go on with the royal family, but I could tell that it wasn’t something that was taken lightly, and it was a huge decision on their part. It makes us realize that no family is perfect, not even royalty. We all have drama.
The interview was a doozy. Meghan held little back; it seemed she was finally able to scream her truth that she had been bottling up for the past four years. Some, especially in the UK, considered the interview to be completely inappropriate, and others, even former friends of Meghan (Piers Morgan ahem ahem), stated that Meghan was simply acting. Mr. Morgan has gone on to leave the morning show, and there has been quite the drama since the interview aired.
I personally believe Meghan. Not just because I loved her in Suits and have followed her “fairy tale” story since she met Harry. But also because she has never done anything to make me think she is a malicious, deceitful person. Tabloids make her to be the villain, but they are simply fodder. I believe she did as she was told while she was in London, playing royal, and she bit her tongue and kept her mouth shut. She played the part perfectly how she was supposed to even though, God forbid, she did it wearing pants! I thought she handled herself with grace and dignity.
The most alarming part of the interview with Meghan was when she said she no longer saw a solution. “I just didn’t want to be alive anymore,” she stated to Oprah, whose jaw dropped to the floor. “I thought it would have solved everything for everyone...right?”
This hit me hard. Here is Meghan, this beautiful, intelligent, modern woman who apparently has it all in life. Yet there she is, completely miserable, alone, and considering ending it. Why did this affect me so much? Because I completely and utterly understand what she was going through. My life from the outside looks perfect. Beautiful home, great neighborhood, two amazingly adorable children, a steady job, a handsome, successful husband. The house with the white picket fence image that people have.
On the inside though, I am in complete turmoil all the time. I struggle with depression and anxiety and regular every day thoughts of what in the actual fuck? When I was drinking heavily, no one really knew what I was going through. Few people knew how bad it was. I am good at living a double life. The one you see on the outside is completely different than the one that is really happening on the inside.
And that’s OK. Because I have the help I need today. I go to therapists, I get medications, I have tools that help me like meditation, yoga, working out, walking, etc. I was never told “no you cannot get help.”
Meghan was.
Can you imagine telling someone your mental health is at risk and them in turn telling you nothing can be done? If not for Harry, would she even be here? Mental health should not be a simply yes or no answer. It should be required. If someone says she is suicidal, there should never be the opportunity to turn down help for that person. What in the actual fuckitty fuck, royal institution??
Mental health is not just something that someone should “get over” or “figure out.” It is something that requires deep work and focus in order to change. Depression or anxiety are not things that should be shunned. We should not be ashamed to say we are struggling. We should not be embarrassed to say “I need help.” And no one should ever be turned down.
This is why we have mass shootings. This is why we have people killing first graders. This is why people are scared to go to the movies. This is why we have active shooter drills at work. Because of the lack of mental health care. Because people like Meghan are told no, there is nothing we can do for you. This is why suicide is considered a public health issue. Yet people are still being told that there is no help for them. When will this change? What will be the breaking point?
Luckily, we have people like Meghan who are speaking out about it. Although I am no royal, I am doing my best to make a difference too. Follow me for inspiration on instagram @itsellenelizabeth. For now, that is where I use my voice, the same way Meghan is using hers.
