Face Everything And Rise
Everyday we have to face our fears. I like to think of it as Face Everything And Rise. Today in my women’s meeting, which is my favorite meeting of the week, we read out of Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey. It was an insightful reading about fears.
‘“I can stand what I know. It’s what I don’t know that frightens me.” - Frances Newton
Fear of the unknown catches up to us on occasion. But it needn’t. The program offers us strength whenever we need it, and faith diminishes all fear. It is said that fear cannot exist where there is faith. We have many days when we feel strong, in touch with our Higher Power, able to meet all situations. On those days, we are seldom conscious of how our faith is guiding us. But the hours of fear that we experience on other days make us aware of faiths absence. There is a simple solution: We can reach out to a friend We can be attentive to her needs, and then connection to God will be made.
Shifting the focus from self centered fears to another persons needs offers us a perspective on our own life. It also offers us a chance to let God work through us. Our own faith is strengthened each time we offer our services to God and to a friend in need. What may frighten us seems less important the closer we are to the people in our lives.
When I touch someone else, God touches me in return."‘
This is packed with useful information. Fear is a trap. To alcoholics, alcohol is a trap. Fear keeps us in our addictions, if we allow it. I am riddled with anxiety, caused by fear. I think that everything is the worst case scenario. If Ian is five minutes late and has not called me, he is obviously dead in a car accident somewhere or he ran off with some slut he met through work. Clearly, I am making up scenarios that are not even close to being reality. I am living through a situation twice by worrying about it. If it really comes true, I will have already lived it with anxiety by worrying about it.
I can make anything scary. If I am not in control, I am living in fear. If I do not know the outcome, I am terrified. I like to know what is going to happen. During these times, I ask my Higher Power Guides for help. They center me. I don’t always get the answers I want, but it brings me closer to my Higher Power and makes me feel more spiritually fit. If I am not doing this, I am just dwelling in fear. I also reach out to friends who are in the program who can relate to what I am going through. We do fear inventories and realize what our part is in our fears. Why are we feeling a certain way? What did we have to do with the situation? How are we making it worse and how can we fix it?
An example of a fear inventory is found here. The steps of AA are miraculous; I think everyone should learn to do them in their everyday lives because it makes you look inward and realize your self defects. You become a better person by working these steps. It doesn’t have to only be AA specific, but since AA keeps in anonymity, people are not talking about it to the public. I don’t mind talking about it; I am here to help anyone, whether they associate themselves as an alcoholic or not. If you have questions about anything I write about, please don't hesitate to reach out to me! I am happy to help.
When we are living in fear, we have to know that there are tools we can use. Reach out to friends and help. When we are helping others, we are not obsessing over our own shit. We are being friends to those in need. We need to remember that we need to also be our own best friend. We sit in self loathing and self doubt, looking in the mirror asking ourselves why we look a certain way, why we act certain ways, and why we do certain things. We are so hard on ourselves; it is the complete opposite way we would treat our good friends. Do you help your friends by saying “God what a loser you are today. You look bloated and tired and got mad at the kids. What a terrible mom you are.” I don’t. I approach my friends with love and compassion, trying to get them to see the best parts of themselves. Why don't we do this for ourselves? Try to act as your own best friend instead of your worst enemy. Celebrate the tiny victories. Be gracious and gentle with yourself. Switch your fear based thinking into love.
“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.” Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
